We've been having a super difficult time getting the kids to go to bed lately. We put them in bed at 8 p.m., and they are still awake at 9:30, 10 o'clock. Last night I got so fed up with it I came up with an artful parenting plan. (my old plan consisted of me yelling up in increasingly irritated tones "Kids, go to bed!!!!!")
Last night, after two hours of listening to them yuk it up in their bedroom when they were supposed to be asleep, I got up, went to the laundry room, grabbed a two-foot high pile of their laundry, and took it upstairs. I switched on the light, and said "I can tell you guys really aren't sleepy. There is so much to do around here, you might as well spend your time usefully, so put away this laundry. And clean the room when you are done. Then you can try going to sleep again. If you still aren't sleepy after the laundry and cleaning the room, I'll find you something else to do. I think we'll do this every night until you get tired, because it's obvious I am putting you to bed too early."
This evening at dinner as I reminded them that they had 30 more minutes until their old bedtime aka their new cleaning time, they looked at each other in trepidation. After several minutes of silence, Kimi finally asked, "Will you give us another try to go to sleep instead of working?" I replied, "Well, I'm not sure. You would have to be really quiet. I wouldn't want to hear any talking whatsoever, and no moving around that tells me you are playing quietly. If you think you can lie still and be absolutely quiet, I would be willing to let you try it." She assured me she thought she could do it. And so my lead instigator became my number one collaborator. She spent the last 20 minutes before bed reminding her sisters that they had to lay completely still and not talk!
The end result is that I spent two very quiet hours before my bedtime enjoying the peace. Amazing what a little artful thinking can do. It's so easy to continue to do the same things and continue to get results you don't like. And so easy to change your behaviour and get an amazing result. Yaaaayyy for me! One of my better parenting moments. :)
4 comments:
So excited to have found your blog. I hadn't come upon it. Next time leave a comment on ours :). Glad we inspired you to get out and hike. With these busy boys I don't sit inside much. Your cabin looks wonderful! Where is it at? My parents have a place on Orcas and we are there often... so much fun to have a place away from home but feels like home. I was thrilled to hear about your new little one...and a boy! Yippee! Won't he be spoiled rotten by his sisters! I bet they are so excited. When is your due date? Maybe if we had a 4th (husband says "NO way") we would have a girl...unlikely but I would love to have one more! If you don't mind I will add you to our blog roll.
Maybe this is silly to admit to you, especially on a blog, but let me just say this... I just updated my resume for a class I took recently, and had to gear it towards childcare so all my 'relevant skills' section had to do with my experience with children and I realized that i've been babysitting for 9-years. Made me feel so old. But anyway I had to say with complete honesty, of all the Mom's i've gotten to witness over the years (that's a lot of different Mom's in 9-years...) i've always wanted to be a Mom like you someday. And I even told that to Ben and Sue when I was 16-years-old, lol. =-)
Hey ... fun to find your blog via Teresa's page ... ! And I love this clever parenting story! Way to go, Mom! =)
That's really a good idea. I'm glad it worked so well. I'm glad I stumbled across your blog too.
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